How to Change Your Self-Talk with Biblical Truth

What does your self-talk sound like?

To answer this question, we first need to explore what self-talk is and why it can have either a positive or destructive impact on our lives. Self-talk is the narrative we form about ourselves and the world around us.

We see that the Bible addresses self-talk. Proverbs 23:7 states that as a man thinks in his heart, so he is. It also urges us not to become like the world, but to allow God to make us new by turning our thoughts towards Him (Romans 12:2). From these scriptures, we see that our self-talk has the power to shape our lives, and it can either reflect the world or God.

Learning about self-talk from King David

There are two kinds of self-talk: immersed self-talk and distanced self-talk.

• Immersed self-talk is more common and sounds something like, “I am a runner,” or “I am overwhelmed.” Using immersed self-talk, especially in difficult situations, can hinder us and set us on a rumination cycle that keeps us in that state of "overwhelm."

• Distanced self-talk is a method taught by David that can help us step outside of our circumstances and stop the rumination cycle.

  
  

We see this in Psalm 42:5, where David addresses himself with a question: “Why am I so discouraged? Why is my heart so sad?” Distanced self-talk, especially in high-stress situations, can help you regulate your emotions and step into rational thought. When you replace “I” statements with your name, you can imprint an even stronger statement about yourself. For example, changing “I am a failure” to “I can learn,” and then to “Danelle can learn,” can lead to a stronger impact on your life.

Changing your self-talk to reflect the Word of God

In this post, we will focus on three practical steps that you can use to change your self-talk to reflect what God says about you, your environment, and the people around you.

1. Stop and take stock

 Take some time to take stock of what you are saying to yourself. Are the thoughts and statements you say draining you, abusing your capabilities, and leaving you feeling defeated and small? Does your self-talk reflect what God says about you? I know a person who has the bad habit of calling themselves "stupid" whenever they make a mistake. This statement is a falsehood; the Bible states that God has given us a sound mind.

2. Replace negative self-talk with Biblical truth

If you identify thoughts about yourself that are not aligned with who God says you are, now is the time to take those thoughts captive and bring them under obedience to Christ. Let’s take the example of my friend: the thought “Oh, you are stupid” is not from God. It does not reveal the true identity they have in Christ and it does not build them up. What Biblical truth can they replace that thought with? What truth can you replace your negative self-talk with?

3. Practice and look for evidence

Our self-talk, both positive and negative, becomes believable when we see evidence of it. Our brains are experts at finding the evidence we look for—whether it is negative or positive, false or true.

Practicing self-talk needs to be intentional. You need to repeat these new thoughts to yourself, and you need to actively stop yourself when you repeat old thoughts to replace them with the new. A powerful way you can do that is to audibly say “STOP” when you catch yourself repeating an old, useless thought, and then audibly say the new thought based on truth. It is even better when you use your first name instead of “I.”

Our self-talk can either be a harsh critic or a friend that points us to the Word of God.  It is up to you to decide which voice you want to echo in your life.

Coach U

I want to challenge you to commit to one week to taking stock of your self-talk. Imagine your self-talk as a person following you around.  Would you like to continue your relationship with that person? If yes, how can you improve your self-talk. If no, what would you like to change?

Resources:

• Anderson, N. T. (2000). Victory Over the Darkness: Realizing the Power of Your Identity in Christ. Bethany House Publishers.

• Beck, J. S. (2020). Cognitive Behavior Therapy: Basics and Beyond. Guilford Press.

• Kross, E. (2021). Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It.

• Koenig, H. G., et al. (2015). Religiously Integrated Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: A New Method of Treatment for Major Depression in Patients with Chronic Medical Illness.

• Propst, L. R. (1996). Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and the Religious Patient. In Spirituality and Religion in Counseling and Psychotherapy.

• White, M., & Epston, D. (1990). Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends. W. W. Norton & Company.

Scripture References:

• The Power of Thoughts: Proverbs 23:7; Romans 12:2; 2 Corinthians 10:5

• The Power of Words: Proverbs 18:21; Psalm 141:3

• The David Strategy (Distanced Self-Talk): Psalm 42:5, 11; 1 Samuel 30:6

• Identity & Sound Mind: Ephesians 2:10; 2 Timothy 1:7

• Stillness & Presence: Psalm 46:10; 1 Kings 19:11-12